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Don't listen to anyone that says your problem isn't that big- it is to you and it's making you depressed.
My Story had many turns like that. The sorce of the depression wasn't a thing it was a person- just one person. it was my best friend and my true one or i thought... soon my friend kept telling me i was nothing but a loser and things like that i could not do better then his friendship.... soon my two best friends, Fredia Willis-Van Cleave and Shelli Guffy noticed the changes in me when i began to believe what my friend was saying. in the early part of this year i made my first film and i was happy, but my friend kept telling me i was ugly, and a son a bitch sort of speak. Then my Aunts, Lisa Conroy and Marni Morse found out what this person was doing to me...then my mother. Soon after all the mean nasty words and things sank in and i believed i hurt everyone so i wanted to die.... i tried at least seven times to end my life by slashing my wrists and taking pills. I covered my slashed up by wearing long t-shirts and watches. But when my friend did find out he told me i needed to go deeper.... then he dared me to go on and kill myself..... that night at my aunt Marni's house i knew something had to be done.... the next morning i slashed my wrists again.... My friend Fredia Willis knew i had to brake away from the lies and the sad world i went to.... I took a deep breath as Marni and Lisa walked me into Doctor Bonny McBride's office and i told her all my problems and what has happened to me.... I got some depression pills and began to do things i enjoyed like walking and working on writing... My friend still kept doing it calling me nothing and no one loves me... and if i died no one would miss me... finally it got where i could not do anything in school because he kept doing all this so Marni and My mom took me out.... then he went around saying i made him depressed......... Finally with Fredia, Marni, Lisa and Mom i closed the door on him and began the road to recovery...
Today I'm still taking my depression pills and Seeing Bonny McBride once a week... i'm beginning to do things i once liked... but my friend ruined my self-happiness... I'm not happy with myself i don't think i ever will...I still have my bad days where i want to die but my low thoughts are not as bad. I tried to work things out with my friend but soon i came to an end that he is not willing to change. Marni gave me an excercise in which if i feel like i want to die really bad i say God loves me or Marni Loves me soon i hope i can say I love Mr. Me and Fredia have become really close and she still helps me over my bad days and i help her with things... me and her have crossed down many roads together..... I still don't know why my friends words were so big to me but they were i'm still working on making them smaller.
I say this to you, no one has the right to make you feel less of yourself... if they are you need to leave them say till you get your crap together i can't be around you..... Because God put all of us here with tender love and no one has the right to say anything different....
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